Sunday, October 31, 2004
If it's in bad taste for John Kerry to out Dick Cheney's openly-gay daughter or for Teresa to momentarily forget Laura Bush had ever held a 'real job,' then why isn't it in bad taste for Karl Rove to talk about Bill Clinton like he's a house plant? Here's what Rove had to say about Clinton's role in the Kerry campaign, according to the 10/26 New York Times.
"In Davenport, Iowa, where President Bush was campaigning, Karl Rove, the president's chief political adviser, said of the spectacle, 'They had to roll Clinton out of the hospital room and onto the campaign trail to help Senator Kerry with his core constituencies that are so weak. "
UPDATED January 11, 2007
Geez. Well, I guess that's about what you should expect from the campaign that launched a direct attack on the other guy's war-medals; deployed every anti-gay slur known to man in critical races; accused those who worried about missing munitions of attacking the troops; and implied that a vote for Kerry would mean a nuke going off in a major city.
Those Bush people are all class aren't they?
UPDATED January 11, 2007
Friday, October 29, 2004
Then, off to the Stranger, who has A Do-It-Yourself Guide to This Season's Quickest, Least Expensive, and Spooky-Ookiest Halloween Costumes.
My favorite: "Your child will be the hit of the neighborhood costume parade in this recreation of the Abu Ghraib prisoner-abuse scandal's most indelible image. As an added bonus this easy-to-make costume will remind everyone on your child's trick-or-treat route of our national shame! Simply roll a cone from a sheet of 24"x38" black cardstock, making sure to cut out a hole for the face. Drape with two yards of black felt, and add leftover wires from your last lamp-rewiring project. Voila! So easy, so quick, and so terrifying!"
He says, with typical humility, that if Bush goes, he goes, because his "faith in the persuasive powers of journalism would be shattered."
Wow. Talk about raging out of control ego. What about the powers of the journalists who are supporting Kerry? Some of them (Sullivan, Hitch, Wieseltier, the Town Crier, Sarah) are rather talented in their own right. Even Miriam likes Kerry's hair.
So, if Kerry wins, maybe it says nothing about Journalism, per say. Maybe all it tells us is that Steyn sucks at what he does?
Sign on the wall: Make Your Order Here
Immediately beneath it: If your son/daughter needs help in his English call...
Buy DovBear a digital camera, and I'll joyfully post a photo of this, and better.
Chicago, go , go
go away way way
Chicago, go , go
go away way way
and on and on into the night, until the Shmira Patrol arrived with the beer. Oh those halcyon years of youth.
"I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'" --Richard Jeni
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Yo, Red Sox Nation. The score was tied when Billy Bobbler let the ball roll through his legs. The man you want to villify, and possibly burn in effigy, if not in person, is Bob Stanley. His wild pitch allowed Kevin Mitchell to score the tying run, setting up Buck's Boner. In fact, if you want to hang the curse on someone, hang it on Johnny Pesky. If he'd gotten the ball out of his glove in time, there'd be no friggin' curse.
First, let me see if I have this straight. The Republican Party, ie: the Party of God and His Wisdom as Revealed via George Bush His Servant was running an ugly and mindless ad? In public? Where church ladies and Impressionable Children could run their eyes across it? ye Gods. Ugly and Mindless? That's so, so unlike the Republicans. Satan, or perhaps his second, Karl Rove, must have gotten hold of those pure Christian souls.
Second, these ugly and mindless ads attacked the Democratic candidate on the grounds that she "seeks to be the first openly gay or lesbian State Senator in North Carolina History." Do you get that? I'll spell it out for you: They went after a woman for being a lesbian. Why, that's just like, like, John Kerry! So... are all those self-righteous defenders of Mary Cheney's dignity rushing to get on TV to speak in this woman's defense? Are they fuming? And sputtering? Three guesses.
Does Madge shower in kabbalah water too? I’ll tell you what though that Berg is one slick snake-oil salesman.
The Name of the List:
Top Ten Ways You Know the Trick Or Treater who just came to your door was a Religious Jew
The Name of the List, if bangitout.com would spend their money on an editor, and not jello shots.
Top 10 Signs A Trick-or Treater is Frum
The One Funny Line Out of Ten
Instead of saying "trick or treat," holds out a laminated paper that says he needs candy for his daughters wedding.
That is Harvey Araton in the Times arguing that, having finally won a championship , the Red Sox are now... wait for it... the New York Yankees!
Here's the money quote:
Fenway will continue to be cozy and charming, but how can it be the same without its ghosts? No longer cursed, the Red Sox will be revealed as they truly are, one of the more blessed big-league franchises, with deep-flowing revenue streams and, like the Yankees, an ever-changing cast of well-heeled mercenaries.
Gawker's view is my view: We're happy about the victory because it gives us more BoSox victory pictures to be misinterpreted as something homoerotic.
This responsible contribution to the learned debate is a service of the Advocate Messanger of Danville, KY.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
[Beth Cohen] is the associate director of the Global Philanthropists Circle, part of the Synergos Institute, a nonprofit organization in New York that promotes international philanthropy. --- New York Times, Wedding Announcements
Whoever chose the name for this philanthropic organization should be executed. The webpage says their official name is "Synergos Global Philanthropy."
Synergos Global Philanthropy. Do those words make you think "emergency mission to Somalia" or "shadowy syndicate of powerful and ruthless oligarchs, conspiring to create a New World Order under the cloak of a benign philanthropic group?"
And, so long as we're on the subject, why is the plumber pictured in knee-deep water?
Kabbalah holy days? And, asks the nasty part of DovBear's brain, "Was it anything like this back in the old country when all those great, celebrity Rabbis tripped over their frock coats running after a little something that the locals call Hasidism?"
Keri? All over a woman's shirt? If you speak Aramaic - and who doesn't - that is so, so sick.
Question: If the top rate starts at $38,000, forcing janitors to pay the same marginal rate as millionaires, then how can the tax system be considered "steeply progressive"?
UPDATED January 11, 2007
I am assuming for now that this is a single-issue election. There is one's subjective vote, one's objective vote. Subjectively, Bush (and Blair) deserve to be re-elected because they called the enemy by its right name and were determined to confront it. Objectively, Bush deserves to be sacked for his flabbergasting failure to prepare for such an essential confrontation. Subjectively, Kerry should be put in the pillory for his inability to hold up on principle under any kind of pressure. Objectively, his election would compel mainstream and liberal Democrats to get real about Iraq.
I do think that Bush deserves praise for his implacability, and that Kerry should get his worst private nightmare and have to report for duty.
Counting Sullivan, this makes two pro-War, pro-Bush, Brits who have switched sides.
(setting: The Bush campaign war room.)
KAREN HUGHES: I don't think we can run the wolf-pack ad.
KARL ROVE: Why in the hell not?
HUGHES: Well, the president is on record saying, "Anyone who thinks we are fighting a metaphor does not understand the enemy we face"
HUGHES: Well, aren't those wolves sort of a metaphor?
ROVE: Don't worry about it. Most Americans understand that the president is a moron.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Stop the presses. Showing a rare gift for talking out of both sides of his mouth Rupert Murdoch, the Australian media baron, said: "With our newspapers, we have indeed supported Bush's foreign policy and we remain that way." and then, in the self-same article, added "We're not in the least bit biased."
What gives Rupe? Does biased have a different meaning Down Under?
George W. Bush incorrectly labelled my wolfpack as a terrorist threat. We are NOT terrorists. We do not associate with terrorists (unless you count that pesky wolverine) and FRANKLY, we don't even like terrorists!
See more at: Wolf Packs for Truth
Willie's going to Flushing. You saw it here first.
"At the end of the three weeks, I had whipped through more than $600 and I definitely couldn't see into the future," complained Marienne Garvey.
But all was not lost. She writes: "I did see Lucy Liu, and her buddy, Soleil Moon Frye"
Adds Yankof from Jack's Shack: "Any time you can see Punky Brewster you have had a good day."
So spaketh Rabbi Shalom Yosef Elyashiv, and the Jerusalem Post can hardly contain its glee: "The rabbi's decision will influence the vote of at least 10,000 American Jews currently residing in Israel, at least 700 of whom are from the battleground state of Florida,"
Oh me oh my. 700 ex-pats, of which perhaps 12 will remember to file their absentee ballot? That's the big news? The Rabbi of one of those big Conservative synagouges in Talahassee will have a greater impact on the election.
Questions for your local orthodox rabbi. (clip and save!)
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The kabbalah religion? So she's moved on from Judaism? Excellent.
And it get's better, as the article continues, the Material Girl notes, in an unintentional show of honesty: "I went to a class and there was a man who looked like a rabbi and what he was saying was amazing."
Says Esther: "In the right light, and the right suit Peter Jackson looks like a Rabbi."
And DovBear? Well, this Dave Barry riff sums up Your Favorite Blogger's (TM) opinion of the sacred process:
... political TV ad present the issues with a degree of honesty, nuance and sophistication rarely seen outside of Veg-O-Matic commercials:
(On the screen, we see the CANDIDATE. Next to his face is the word ''LEADERSHIP.'') ANNOUNCER: Leadership. It isn't just a word. It's a word that tested really well in our focus groups. And it's a word we want you to think about when you think about the Candidate. Also, ``low-carb.''
(Now we see the candidate's OPPONENT, in an unflattering photograph that makes him look like THE WORLD'S LARGEST GLOB OF EARWAX.)
ANNOUNCER: The Opponent favors policies that could cause the Earth to rotate in the opposite direction, causing all life on the planet to hurtle into space and die. Is that really what Americans want?
(Now we see the CANDIDATE standing in an attractive outdoor setting with his WIFE AND CHILDREN.)
CANDIDATE: I want to lead America in the right direction. That's why I'm standing with my family on this lawn. And that's why I approve of this message.
He's not even that far from the truth.
Monday, October 25, 2004
MR. BOUCHER: We heard that Castro fell. There are, I think, various reports that he broke a leg, an arm, a foot, and other things, and I'd guess you'd have to check with the Cubans to find out what's broken about Mr. Castro. We, obviously, have expressed our views about what's broken in Cuba.
QUESTION: Do you wish him a speedy recovery?
MR. BOUCHER: No.
The Full Story
How do the president's toadies respond? "John Kerry has no vision for fighting and winning the War on Terror, so he is basing his attacks on the headlines he wakes up to each day"
So, in other words, Kerry's charge, on the merits, is true?
Reb Yudel calls foul! "It unsporting for Kerry to attack Bush on information unavailable to a president who has forsworn reading newspapers!"
"Yes, Kerry is liberal. But what's to fear from a liberal president? That he would run big deficits? That he would increase federal spending? That he would expand the power of the federal government over individuals' lives? Nothing Kerry could do could top what President Bush has already done in those realms."
Who said this? The very conservative DesMoines Register.
Sunday, October 24, 2004
Ari Fischbein of Far Rockaway, N.Y., says the TMQ signature phrase "for thong-based reasons" would be l'sibot tachtonim retzuot in Hebrew. Rechavia Berman of Tel Aviv, editor of a Hebrew-language, renders it as MeSibot Tluyot Xutini, reporting that the "Xutini" part is a Hebrew pun, which we'll have to
take his word for.
DovBear wonders: Where did a Far Rockaway boy learn how to say thong in Hebrew?
Quote: Win it for Johnny Pesky, who deserves to wear a Red Sox uniform in the dugout during the 2004 World Series. Mr. Henry, the trophy needs to be presented first of all to him.
Sure, if you want me to be reduced to a quivering heap of emotional goo, go right ahead.You're a beautiful man, Jack. Someone hand these Bosox fans a tissue.