Friday, August 19, 2005

Hysterical Heshy

I don't link to lunatics, so you'll need to find Heshy's House of Vice and Ill Repute on your own, but my new pal, the Balabusta in Blue Jeans thinks Heshy's agenda for bringing Moshiach is pretty funny. She is right. The comments it produced, especially those written by "Chamsa," are great, too.

Highlights (all comments belong to Chamsa, with Heshy in purple, because it is really his color):

Special shock unit of Torah-observant teenagers who will flood secular neighborhoods, leaving Torah-oriented tapes and CDs on every vehicle windshield in the early morning hours before the crack of dawn.

Because everybody loves the Mooneys...

Special crack-units of tall, highly intelligent young adult women who are well trained in Torah ideals, outfitted in all black (leather jackets & gloves, long skirts and stockings) are to target secular streets of Tel Aviv and Haifa dishing out steaming, hot portions of cholent from mobile crock pots into heavy-duty disposable black bowls with sturdy black forks.

I'm guessing this is some sort of personal fetish of yours. Discuss it with your Rav or Psychologist. Do you have ANY idea what the weather in Tel Aviv is like? It's not exactly chulent weather.

Religious mothers and daughters should man model Shabbos tables in front of all super markets throughout Israel on Fridays.

Aren't they busy wearing black leather and handing out chulent? [But] gosh, you have 3 suggestions for taking them out of the kitchen! Good for you.

Every religious household should invite one or more secular neighbors for Shabbos meals.

Newsflash for Heshy: Chareidim don't have secular neighbours.

We must infiltrate the entire secular educational system from kindergarten through university.

Yes, fight the chilonim by sending your frum kids to chiloni kindergartens. Or maybe by becoming a university professor. I'm not sure which you mean.